Monday, February 27, 2012

Wheels of my mind

The wheels of my mind are spinning almost out of control.
They have dug ruts in the miry clay that seem to keep me captive
Ruts that represent my failed aspirations and desires
Deeper and deeper they become
I’m stuck

As I dream of using my gifts and talents to help support those that I love;
I see that all I’m doing is dreaming.
The challenges I come against are typically self induced.
Lack of focus
Lack of belief... in my myself

Excitement turns to fear
Fear that only helps to distract even more.

The only option is to push through.
To regain focus
To trust that what is in my heart
To believe in my self

Lord, I pray that you will help me to make some sense of the mess in my mind. That you will clear my thoughts and help me to become more focused and know what I am to do. Give me clear direction so that I am not simply spinning my wheels and going nowhere.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

It's a choice

I've been MIA, I know.  Lots of distractions.  I was at work yesterday and just simply closed my eyes, and typed.  This is what came from that action

As I look in the mirror of my mind I see images of the past

The past that seems to have forged my future
The past that seems to have defined my now

I carry the burdens of those images deep within my very soul

The hurt,
The pain
The disappointment

But even now, I am choosing to look past the images and dwell instead on the happier times
To focus on those who did not make me feel less than I am
To focus on those who encourage me

To remember the laughter
The smiles
The joy.

People come and go in our lives. That is a constant
However, how you let them define you; well that is all on you.

What will you do with the paths that have crossed yours?
The paths of those who have let you down…
I simply choose to nod, smile and move on

There is a world where love is abounding. I am sure that is so.
Am I ready to go there? No.
I have much left to share with others.
I have my gifts and talents.
Some of which I have not yet tapped in to.

I pray to you, Oh God, to please help me to focus on the positive. Help me to look past the indifference and the falseness that is around me. I am a cracked vessel and I need your loving stitches to mend me, to heal me and to make me whole again.