People in glass houses.....

I could not believe it. How could they do it? All I can think is; those foolish people. I just could not grasp the concept of how they could turn their backs on Him. All that murmuring and muttering.... How could they willingly turn from trusting Him to whining about going back? Don't they realize what they are doing? Don't they realize that they wanted to go back into bondage and slavery after being set free? They had seen the waters part for goodness sakes!! They were fed fresh manna every day without fail. They were following His visible glory. HE was leading them. They were headed for the Promised Land. The land God had for them. What were they thinking??
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But, who am I to judge? I, too, have seen the miracle of God. Oh sure, I personally have not seen the waters part... I have never gone out on my lawn and picked up my manna for the day.... But, I have seen the provision of God in my life many times. I have felt His presence. I have heard His voice....
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So, what am I thinking? Why is it that I don't trust God in my heart? Oh, I say I trust Him; however, my thoughts contradict that. The fears and frets in my heart say that I don't trust Him completely. And He knows. I am such a foolish child. From where He sits, this makes me no better than the Israelites back in the wilderness. How I must hurt the heart of God with my doubts and fears. How would I feel if my own children wouldn't trust me to be sure that I had their back if they needed something?

Actually, in my mind, I am worse than the Israelites wandering in the desert. They were not able to go to His throne. Due to Christ's sacrifice, I can. How deceived have I allowed myself to be? I have allowed the chains of fear and distrust to put me back into bondage. My murmuring and muttering and actions probably mimicked those back then. I find myself saying life was better when I didn't know better. Others can do things that I can't do any longer. They don't have to live a consecrated life. They get to have more fun, or so it appears... I seem to have forgotten the big picture....

If I be honest, I guess part of the problem is that I don't have the relationship I use to have with Him. Back when I saw the miracles and wonders I was also spending more time in His presence. I have allowed so many things to take my time away from him. Work, TV, sleep, internet, they all seem to take priority. I find myself fretting instead of thanking. I find myself worrying instead of trusting... God has not changed, I have.
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Thankfully, He knows my story from beginning to end... It's time to drag myself out of the miry clay I've allowed myself to get stuck in. I realize that.... Once again, it's time to get out of the wilderness mentality and more forward into my promises from God... I'm going to move into my Promised Land of milk and honey ... Hopefully I can make that move and not look back...

Psalm 18:2


The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer;My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.