Fun and Games..... not

One thing that keeps resonating in my head.... my younger cousin is dying... soon.  We are not close... have not ever been, I guess due to the age differences, distances apart, and the later years, differences of opinions.  None the less, he is family.  The big "C" has attached itself to him and feasting on what is left of his strength.  I cannot imagine what he thinks each and every day.  I cannot imagine what his mom and dad deal with knowing they will have to bury him. 

Except for a few random posts, I've not written for a while because, well, everytime I go to start writing I think of him... I always try to be uplifting and honest in my posts.... Talking about the death of a family member is not what I want to write about.   It seems, however, that I am destined to do so.  The writer's block I've dealt with, I am hoping, will be removed if I "speak" my mind here....

So... I write

While the big "C" has hit my cousin, it appears the big "D" has hit me....  My direction and focus is supposed to be on my studies so that I can break free... when in fact, I've been quite the opposite.  I've allowed myself to become Distracted... the big "D".  Distraction....  As I listened to a pastor on Sunday ... it really hit home.  (What little I allowed myself to listen becuase I was .... yup distracted.....  but yet, the words I heard did hit home where they needed to.   Dr. Stanley said that many of us in the Christian faith will spend hours in front of the TV each night, (or on the computer) then go to bed and read a few verses from the Bible, spend a few minutes praying to God to help us with whatever it is we are dealing with and go to sleep.... Rather childish, wouldn't you agree?  But it's true... at least for me, anyway.  (just being honest, here!)...

So, I recognize the problem... but what do I do about it?  I can purpose to change.... I have done that often... but I keep on going back to my old ways....   So much for good intentions......

Sigh.... I don't think this writing block is over just yet.....